If you received an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtime," delete it
immediately without reading it. It is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.
It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any
disks that are even close to your computer.
It will recalibrate your refrigerator's settings so all your ice cream
melts and your milk curdles. It will demagnitize the strips on all your
credit cards, reprogram your ATM access codes, screw up the tracking on
your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave your
dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with
your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile. It will
you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with
Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend
behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up
and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It willl not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattress and
it will refill your skim milk with whole milk.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few of